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In America's current cultural climate, talking about fathers and their impact on families is very taboo. Nowadays, all a man offers seems to be sperm and a paycheck—at least according to society. A father is so much more; it is a tragedy that we undercut their importance. I am not implying that women are less than or that motherhood is unimportant; instead, I argue that fatherhood is equally important. Denying children of either is a shame. Women provide specific things that only a mom can be and offer. Men offer things that only a father can bring, and together they are going to set a child up for the best possibilities.
If you are a single parent for any reason, this article is not meant to make you feel less than others. I want to argue this to those who suggest that men are not influential in a family. I believe if you ask any child who grew up without a dad, will understand that a father or a father figure is essential to a child- and even to adult children.
My parents divorced when I was young, and I lived in a single-parent home for most of my childhood. My biological father eventually left without telling any of the kids when I was in high school. I do not understand the benefits of having a father in the home from first-hand knowledge, but I do know how difficult it is not to have a dad.
I am majoring in recreation management, and something that we discuss is how women tend to plan recreation for families. Yet, the most valuable memories children cherish are when mom and dad play with the kids. Moments like fishing with Dad, baking cookies with Mom, playing war, etc. Although, moms take the lead on the more formal recreation—what is called balance recreation and is very important. Fathers, by nature, tend to take the lead in what is called core recreation, which is almost always a free leisure activity that is often considered the favorite by children. Both forms are vital to the success of a family. When you take a father from the situation, you deny children the opportunity to look for ways to play with dad.
Another thing you lose when you take any parent away, especially a father, is a child's self-esteem. I have seen in my friend's family how fathers can help build self-esteem and confidence in their children. Fathers tend to push their children a little harder, so kids have the opportunity to see what they can do. On the flip side, I was in high school when my father left for good. Still, feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy come when I think about it. "Am I not good enough for my father?" "Is there something I can do to earn his love?" "What is wrong with me?" These are all questions that flood my mind because of the absence of a father. Each person is different, but with everyone I know, similar questions are raised, and the aforementioned feelings follow suit.
It is absolutely ludicrous that anyone suggests that fathers are unimportant or that a woman can do the same things as a father. Women can do amazing things, and we should not discount their contribution, but I argue the same for men. Fathers are vital to children's overall health, and it is repugnant that we do not appreciate all that they do. Good mothers AND fathers are why we have good people in the world. The next time you are tempted to propose that fathers are without purpose, I urge you to think of the father figures in your life and how they have helped you. Think of your Father in Heaven, and if you can still say that the role of a divine, perfect being who only cares about your well-being, that His role is unnecessary, then repent and start to appreciate the good men in your life who have helped you become the person you are today.