Classy or Close?

America may not have an official class system, but there are social classes. These classes and their lifestyles can heavily impact a family. This week I will discuss a few problems that arise in the classes and how families can be better equipped to handle them.

At least in my experience, I hear about the one-percenters, middle class, and lower class. We will even get more specific and clarify the upper, middle, or lower class of the middle-class group. A plethora of aspects have to do with how and where we perceive people. I can spend a few blog posts on that, but I want to focus on something else this week.

What I find shocking is that, in general, lower-class or impoverished families struggle with many of the same problems as more affluent families. In the lower class, you will often see issues of a poor family structure or lack of family ties because parents and sometimes children have to work to provide for the family. When the parents are gone, kids often step up to try to fill that role—which will never work and almost always hurts the children.

On the other end of the spectrum, families with more money can afford help- nannies, babysitters, and after-school programs. Things like this can put barriers in the family and hurt the family. The family system is almost guaranteed to be affected by whichever class you and your family fall under.

Growing up, my mom had no money. When she married my biological father, they started pretty broke. My parents worked hard and were eventually able to give me and my brothers a comfortable life. Meaning while I was growing up, I saw how our social class, starting from lower class and gradually making it to upper-middle class, affected our family.

Although it was when I was much younger, I clearly remember my parents' struggles trying to provide for a family. My mom wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but it was not feasible. She and my father had to work constantly, and we were babysat by friends, other people of lower income, and some community outreach programs.

The only problem I had as a kid was that I almost never-saw my dad, and I only saw my mom at the dinner table. When school started and the social class became more apparent, I began to be jealous of others because they knew so much about their parents. All I knew was that my mom was undoubtedly the best cook in the world. People were patronizing and even demeaning to me and my family. This was wearing on the family as a whole. All three kids began to resent our parents, even though all they were doing was their best and providing a life for us.

As time passed and money became less of a problem, people began to treat us as equals. Friends would invite us to participate in activities because we could afford it. My mom could cut her hours, so she was almost always home when the kids were. My father had more regular hours, even with the on-call shifts. Dinnertime was still a treasure, but our family was able to spend more time together and get to know each other. We had Sunday traditions, and we would play in the backyard together. Life was good.

Several years later, my family bought a business, and our perceived class shot through the roof. Now, we were high rollers. Running a business is a lot of work, and I had never seen so little of my family as I did then. The family business separated us more than nearly anything else we had gone through. Because of our perceived success, my mom was asked to assist in various community outreach programs. My brothers received excellent work and school opportunities, and before I knew it, once again, I didn't know anything about my family.

How bleak an ending, right? Our ever-changing social class has affected my family in many ways, but I have learned something valuable along the way. Money is essential to survival, but never let it come between you and your family. That includes letting others' thoughts about your wealth interfere with your family. It is more important that you know your family and that your family knows you love them than how many zeros or commas you have on your paychecks.